[Today 04:55 AM] Our Father Who AWPs in Heaven : well i wouldnt expect ppl to give 2 shits abt a randm fuck they dont know so idk what i thought i was gonna try to prove here but once agaion... another [Today 04:52 AM] Our Father Who AWPs in Heaven : but my mind is not liek yours, it is, but u dont know how i could alter things in my brain to make sense in such away [Today 04:51 AM] Our Father Who AWPs in Heaven : this is stupid nothing as u see tight here can mean anything of any significane and yeah wahh wah me [Today 04:51 AM] Our Father Who AWPs in Heaven : just let the good things fi any that u ever saw from me carry on for my only pathetic contributon to mankind and all that [Today 04:48 AM] Our Father Who AWPs in Heaven : none yall know my name but if there is any small thing at all u could find positive abt what ive done here lol on a god fuckin videop game then plz just ca [Today 04:46 AM] Our Father Who AWPs in Heaven : how id let u all be the ones i tell since i tlak to u ppl more than any real friens or any1 so [Today 04:46 AM] Our Father Who AWPs in Heaven : ik every1 will joke abt it hell ik i would but i tlaked abt suicide earlier [Today 04:44 AM] Our Father Who AWPs in Heaven : i was so close to really taking my life for the past 10 years cuz of the mental state i have [Today 04:43 AM] Our Father Who AWPs in Heaven : ik some ppl like me n all and idc if they dont but its [Today 04:42 AM] Our Father Who AWPs in Heaven : most of yall dont realize that menial things for me to process is...well my brain isnt quite the same as most im sure ur all aware [Today 04:40 AM] Our Father Who AWPs in Heaven : and im saying this sincerely,,i know ppl will say im in here weepin and bein a bitch but idk my mind is strang [Today 04:39 AM] Our Father Who AWPs in Heaven : i wanted to become one of the top kz'ers but what good is that if its only benifitting me [Today 04:38 AM] Our Father Who AWPs in Heaven : cuz if the way i am is turning ppl off from the hoc experience then theres really no point for me to stay.. [Today 04:37 AM] Our Father Who AWPs in Heaven : and im not sayin this to be a sob story or nothin just i really wanted to be a part but idk maybe itd be better if i wasnt [Today 04:35 AM] Our Father Who AWPs in Heaven : but i just dont feel right anymore idk maybe ill just figure somethin else out i can do to help grow hoc in a way where i dont ruin it [Today 04:34 AM] Our Father Who AWPs in Heaven : as much as id hate to i just dont want to ruin the community what i did want was to help it grow honest idk whats gonna happen now after the fact but as pathetic as it was and all ppl like u all i met over the yers on games and all other things online i pathetically got close, talked to more and held in higher esteam then any of my fucked up family or fake friends/// blame it on the drugs if u want but i think they honestly bout me a lot more time to enjoy life....in any way that i could/// y am i trying to what am i tryin to even do with this yall are good ppl,, maybe just to sshow how ppl minds really are warped in ways that will continuouslly change and never be able to be understould just dont think i didnt try and ppl say its selfish to kill youself but in my warped mind i dont see how,, i got no 1 to look after or whod be effected almost at all over it so selfish? idk.... id love to make a joke now but for once idk if i can....i could always find something funny in any terrible thing but ..;l fhm for the 1st time ever my mind i blank with even any attemt at it .. here we go anyway roses, are, expensive violets are a stupid flower... then someting that rhymes with flower, like z pook power no. z pook chowder, the kind u eat then lol fuck 'ok just always treat ppl like,, it dont matter how u treat them just make sure u lol lessons from me.. ugh um one time my friend in schoold was beat by his dad yet he was the funniest person i ever met he still despite being beat would record little videos of him fuckin wit hos dad just to show how funny it was when hos dad got pissed//.. i think thats somethin....u can learn something from every1 and never be afraid to be wrong.. thats it i suppose, idk how i plan on doin g this yet so hmm i live in PA by philly kinda or pottsville or reading im 24 so look for an OD but id liek to at least try to rob some shit 1st and shoot shit idk we'll see but fuck i hate wen i try to act like im smart and think i can teach lessons to ppl who know so much more than m,e im imimimimimimim iiiii its always memememememe fuck urself listen to others fuck ur point u want to prove who cares if u dont prove it, instead of getting caught up in proofing what u think just open ur mind to wahat others think, not me but ppl who are genuinely sincere or fuck man i cant think of words right now i never pictured this to be sp sloppy but im done. luv mcini, luv zpam, luv plekz, luv xloud, luv xcrash, luv liz, luv brwr, luv jayrahh haven luq linus eighbo, merc, dm, dzm , fuck i cant think of name man if u ever talked to me or i tlaked to u then ur included . :heart: [hr] i wanted to change my pic to the scene where donnie darko does that signature smile btw.. i love jakey gylls
I for one love having you around man. Haven't spoken to you much but you seem like a genuine nice guy and your humor is somewhat like mine. If the NA community doesn't work for you hop on over to EU #2/7. We got tonnes of chill guys there for all over. I think you'll fit right in man . The language barrier is somewhat a problem but overall that makes people much more accepting on the server. The NA servers seem quite tryhard at times I know (what with plekz n all), but come on EU if you just wanna chill. I know most if not all of regulars up so just say you're a friend of Crook and you'll be Gucci. Also you seem like you can spit some pretty sick bars might I add. Cya around man, Crook P.S Don't give up on your kz record dreams I almost got one the other day man something I never thought id be able to do so just keep at it.
i love things more than any1, i can find the good in the worst ppl in the world.. problem is it goes both ways i find the bad in all good things ik everyone experience similar episodic crazy thoughts or what have u but i feel like im different..but in a way where im aware of how every1 thinks their special.. but isnt the fact that im at least aware of that make me kinda right.. i mean i honestly 100% do not believe anyting at all in this world that i couldnt make sense to other ppl thatd agree with me... so there where it really fucks me.. i see how ppl agree with this shit that i almost feel can be shit no1 has ever dont, thought, lived or whatever before...making me think that maybe i do have some kind of...idk gift?, special abilities(passive or even intentional.. i belive that i could actually be the 2nd jesus...hold on before u dismiss this all.. think maybe jesus was just this man who decided to help greater mankind by embracing his role as savior and sacrificing himself in the name of the greater good of humanity and evolution..ok ..listen guys i was fallen apart wen i wrote all that shit.. thank u a lot crook for being cool to me abt it, ik most hoc ppl would be too but its inevitable that i will get made fun of prolly more so behind my back abt this but keep in mind i do not care at all finally just so u knowi decided i will never die until i make a worthy and justifiable book and or movies about the world as i see it because i know theres somethign i can do to maybe even change to world, or
both the 1st and 3rd post are mine... my shit got all fucky.. but im fine and id be the last person to kill myself due to the fact i can find something positive in the most heinous negative things.. go head try me.. think of the worst think u can and ill tell u how u can benefit from it in a way that will make u uniquely more matured or stronger in ways most ppl will never experience.. u may think ud rather just be the guy who cruises thru life no problem but those typed of ppl will never do anything great or worth while due to lack of actual real life occurrence bottom line is with all the shit that has beeen goin wronjg for me and piling up since the day i turned 18 in addition to my bizarrely terrible way of dealling with dead friends and family i got to a point i never thought i ever would of in my like... i dont let anyting get to me never ever did i.. so the feeling i had was ... im sure u can relate in yor own way (everyone) p.s. Zpamm thats and example of soething that really interested mee with the howard stern show.. there is 0 fakeness on that show and they did a segment where they intervied every1 on the show which is liek 20 ppl if they ever serouslt thought of or attempted suiced.... only 2 havent.. kinda makes me feel better.. and im sure it did the same for 1000s of others too.. plaes know what ur talking about way more next time before claiming what type of person some1 is "fag" i think u said, of course no ban tho.. honestly when i was on probation house arrest, dui shit, and a few more charges...its safe to say i spent a lotttt of time on the computeer which is soul reason im at where i am noww.. i was riding with thugs 1 day and rooting for my favorite starcraft player at MLG the next day (idra) but it opened doors to so much more and ive said enough lol just know im cool i was bent which didnt cause the emotions i had but def did not help i wonder how pl will take this.. most def wont care lol n prolly get a laugh out of it wich is np at all but maybe if more ppl struggling with any kind of problem no matter how severe it is, im sure if the ppl let go of their insecurities and spoke with true intellect then is it that far'fetch to think they can eventually solve how to avoid themselves from any kind of humany emotion that does not ..... fuck it done ./// no more typing but i just cant say how sorry i am for doin all this shit on our site, its def not good for publicity so feel free to remove it all and even ban me if need be i got shit to figure out anyway i am relaly serious cuz im not good at public shit, so if there was any1 out there willing to help me with my mind like some1 studying or teaching or at least knows what their talking abt in a legitamete wya.. i dont hink id ever kill myself..ever, however... this is my cry for help i guess. my mind must be fixed
